Sickness and Couple Introspection

After 8 years working for the Christian radio station here in town, Ryan finally called in sick.  Of course he’s taken vacation days, other planned off days and sometimes even left early for sickness or other reasons.  But yesterday was the first early morning (4:45am) shift that he has ever called off because of sickness.  I’d say that’s a pretty impressive run.

Being sick is never fun but I’m glad Ryan was able to take a couple days to rest and let his body heal.  He’s back at work today and will hopefully be back at 100% soon enough.  I’m very thankful that both Ryan and I have had limited colds and serious illnesses since we’ve been married.  Health is something not to be taken for granted.

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Since Ryan did spent most of Tuesday convalescing on the couch we had some extra time to spend together.  He was still recuperating on Wednesday but I was at work.  Anyway back to Tuesday, I could have done other things with my afternoon but keeping a cold cloth on my husband’s head and watching random movies and TV shows seemed like a better use of my time.

One of the shows we watched was the newest Married at First Sight.  For those of you unfamiliar, this is the second season of a show where experts match 3 couples together based on compatibility on paper and the couples meet each other at the altar, say their ‘I Dos’, go on a honeymoon and try to proceed with real life now that they are legally married to a stranger.  Of course they all want to be married and that’s why they agreed to the experiment but for most of them marriage is not what they thought it would be.

I find the premise of this show very interesting because it’s like arranged marriage for our culture today.  Two of the couples from the first season decided to stay married after the 6 weeks of the official experiment.  And these new couples will also have to decide after 6 weeks if they want to stay married or get divorced.  Ryan typically doesn’t watch the show but I’ve told him about it and it definitely starts a lot of very interesting conversations.

This week, watching these other couples struggle through everyday life, changes and the challenges of couplehood gave Ryan and I a chance to talk and analyze what we perceive they were doing right or wrong.  As well as how we might act or react to the same situations.  Sometimes this is very hypothetical and sometimes it hits surprisingly close to home.  Ryan and I didn’t meet at the altar but there was still a lot we didn’t know about each other when we got married.

When I was single, I might have idealized participating in an experiment like Married at First Sight.  And I can say that on this side of marriage, I had (still have) a definite mix of realistic and unrealistic expectations.  But I think it’s very true that even the most realistic person is going to have some surprises once they get married and the reality of life happens.  In the end I’m thankful for a husband, who even in his fever induced state will still be introspective with me and work towards better communication and improving our marriage.

I’m curious, if anyone wants to share:  If you’re single or married, would you consider (or would have considered) participating in something like Married at First Sight?

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3 thoughts on “Sickness and Couple Introspection

  1. Even after 20 years of marriage I feel I still have some preconceived notions and expectations of my partner (like he will suddenly know everything about cars like my Dad! After all, he’s a guy… Ha ha)
    But no- I don’t think I would have participated in a show like this. I don’t believe in divorce and I don’t think I would have trusted the other person to be honest in their questionnaire (for compatibility matching) and I wouldn’t want to be stuck with someone who had a different definition of “communication” or “being clean and neat” – we are still defining those terms ourselves! LOL

    • I think not believing in divorce is a good reason to not participate in something like this. And the show also highlights that sometimes what people say they want or how they see themselves is actually different than reality.

  2. so after being married 41 years and celebrating my 61st birthday today I can say with wisdom that I would not participate in this arrangement. I also have not seen the show. But…I am still finding things out about my husband and he about me. that never changes. there are far more pleasant surprises than unpleasant. We have ridden the rollercoaster of marriage and it is a wild ride…and work. Couldn’t do it without the Lord as our guide!

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