Shattered Expectations

This is a story of my car, my northwest roadtrip and the unexpected things that God uses in the process of sanctification.  I did use the word process so this means that it is still happening.  The end is yet to be determined but read on for the saga thus far.

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On Wednesday I left my place in Sacramento at 5:50am.  By 7:30 I was well on the road, I-5 between Sacramento and Redding.  The road was wide open, the closest car to me about a 1/2 mile behind and I was using cruise control as well as listening to my book on CD.  There was no need for me to be in the fast lane so I moved over.  Then came the POP!  It sounded like a balloon bursting or a paper bag when you fill it with air and pop it.  I flinched and looked in my rear view mirror.  The back window had completely shattered.  I didn’t go under a bridge, there was nothing around me on the road, I wasn’t driving backwards but something hit the back window.

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So I pulled over and called my dad.  Because, let’s face it, dads can help with almost anything.  After a short chat and determining that everything was ok (except of course the shattered window), I continued onto Redding with the broken window slowly falling in behind me.  Long story short, by 1 in the afternoon, I was back on the road with a new window ringed in blue tape.  I was happy to be on the road again but I was about 5 or so hours behind my intended schedule.

IMG_9734Because of the delay, I missed a couple meetings in Eugene but I made it safely to Oregon by 7 in the evening.  I was exhausted but a good nights sleep and some blueberry picking in the morning made things a bit better.  So where does the sanctification come in?

From the moment my window broke, I considered turning around and heading back to Sacramento.  The whole way to Redding, I talked to God.  I can’t even really explain what I was thinking but this was the beginning of God’s latest work in my heart.  I am a planner, I am an organizer.  When my window shattered, I felt in some ways that all my expectations for this roadtrip shattered as well.  Despite all the emails, phone calls and scheduling, I still can’t anticipate everything.  Meetings fall through, plans change, windows break, road construction and traffic happen.  Now I am 6 days into my trip and while I am thankful for the meetings and reunions I have had, I have to admit that I am very disappointed that it hasn’t been what I thought it would be.  And if I am honest, this isn’t all about the trip.  There are plenty of other things going on in my life and God is slowly working on my heart in many ways.

I believe in a sovereign, omnipotent God.  I may not be in control but God is.  However, the ways he chooses to work in us isn’t always pleasant.  Sometimes it’s like having a deep infected wound cleaned out.  You know it has to happen in order for the healing to start but the process is extremely painful.  The shattered window in and of itself was just a blip on the path but that blip was a catalyst  for change.  And it’s not over yet because this is a process.

I’m continuing to pray and listening to what God is telling me.  Sometimes things have to be broken before they can be fixed again.  Please pray with me.

 

 

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